Bollocks.

Ladies and gentlemen <drum ruff>... It's the Extremely Irritating Things in Webshites Special! <hi-hats>:

1. Advertising: Is there a better way to put the 'H' in 'website'? Pop-up, pop-under, giga-banners and even text-based ads suck. Of course, insistent pop-ups or any other form of exaggerated advertising will manage to take out the 'web' in 'webshite'.

2. MIDI music: Satan loves MIDI. 'Nuff said.

3. 'We are the cutting edge': Bragging will get design sites the well-deserved 'H'. Unless it's a joke.

4. 'We are the broadband cutting edge': Let me put this straight: Modems end up being faster than most cable & DSL connections. And modems are not fond of sad excuses to abuse bandwidth.

5. Graphics from hell: People who don't know the difference between a .GIF and a .JPEG shouldn't be allowed to do websites. Neither people who compress badly, or people who use excessive graphics.

6. Slow webserver: Why? Even free hosts like Geocities are reasonably fast, and paid hosts are even faster. No mercy for l33t kids who insist in hosting their websites in their own webservers with a 14.4kbps connection.

7. D-HTML scroller: Aren't people still fed up of this toy? Sometimes we might need small scrollers, but what about the mouse-wheel friendly <iframe>?

8. Short scrollers in weblogs: And God forbid D-HTML scrollers.

9. Mega-promotion tools: I understand the odd 'Rate me!' button or the odd webring, but not a whole page filled with crap. And hide that stupid counter, please.

10. 'Skip-less' Flash intros: Unlike many I still see a purpose on the Flash intro. However, sometimes I'm not in the mood for such bells and whistles, and a responsive 'skip' is handy.

11. Corporate Flash website: 100%-Flash might be acceptable for designer sites, but not corporate webshites. Just imagine trying to copy-paste a few contacts, or some information. Bummer.

12. Ultra-table: Most weblogs might push this a bit. It always sucks to wait for a table containing 200K of data to load, because you can't read the contents. This site will only show 7 entries per page to keep the table small. Having a full month of content inside is a sure way to get your site awarded an 'H'.

13. 'Snifosis': I hate weblogs that are too personal. Nicely introspective ones are good at times, but the "my girlfriend dumped me yesterday and my goldfish died, please have pity on me" is just plain crap. Get yourself together, and get yourself some real friends!

14. 'We offer leading e-commerce solutions': No you don't. You are broke! Which is nice.

More annoyances will be published as the web evolves.

A State of Brothom

A few years ago, I recorded an audio CD at home containing a few tracks I had downloaded by a Finnish guy called Lassi Nikko. People would tell me it was crap, that it was electronic music from loners to loners. I always had a hidden talent to see the future when music is concerned, so now take this: BrothomStates (Lassi Nikko) is Warp Records' newest star. His debut release called Qtio EP will be out August 6th, and a full length record (Claro) will follow on September 17th. In the meantime you can download a few live bootlegs and a full-length MP3 album from his own website, and get some of his older XM/S3M/IT releases (on the 'Dune' alias) on Scene.org.

A band called 'Weltschmerz Seaborgium'

It seems that the true cause of war is too many unmarried young men. There goes the economy, here comes the demography. Come to think of it, it does make sense. However, I am still sticking with my own theory that international sport in countries with a good mass-media coverage is the perfect substitute for war (but not civil wars), as many wars (being World War I the prime example) were started by a popular demand for revenge (i.e. "let's beat the crap of those pesky Germans who won in 1871"), now turned to sport (i.e. "next time we play France we'll break Zidane's legs"). - link via the null device.

Here's a very cool-looking Periodic Table of the Elements, full of unnecessary pictures but full of information underneath. Suited for those with a mild, healthy and curious interest in science like me, as well as those hardcore rocket-scientist geeks.

On Kottke.org: "Weltschmerz: mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state." It's interesting there's always a German word for a zeitgeist depression.

Bottom of the pops

And this week's number one hundred is... Aisth, and their delicious alternative pop MP3s you can legally download from their website.

Things I don't like: What's with all Top Ten charts? If we are continuouslly bombarded by the best-selling records list, do we need such an extra reminder? I really think that in a perfect world we'd have the Least Ten charts, giving us the possibility of getting to know new stuff. However, in case such a chart would suck, a compromise solution would be the 110-100 chart, digging through alternative stuff. Nice.

Black cats are nice

Beijing 2008: Not unexpected, really. Come to think of it, China is the perfect ground for corporate-heavy Olympics. This won't be Moscow 1980.

Doesn't conform with the original record

OK, if the last post meant shit to you, here's are less boring pieces of software: Signwave Auto-Illustrator is Adobe Illustrator with attitude, and the newly-released Auto-Effects (requires a registered Auto-Illustrator, which is free) enables Auto-Illustrator users to convert motion .AFX (cool extension) files into cool-looking Flash movies. Nice.

Open-source can be lame: There's PHPNuke, the excellent and easy to setup and customize portal management system, and there's Post-Nuke which is a crap fork, even though there are a lot more developers. Why? Go figure.

At last I am on vacation (even though I still keep a part-time job until the end of the month), as I did my final exam this morning. Hurrah!

No corporate webshite developers

Internet's End, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another. Mind you, the Internet is full of ends, ain't it? Mental note: create my own end, and make it a 404 page.

Yet more Suomi extravaganza: Fthr of The Planet of Leather Moomins features some amazing artwork on his personal website, being my favourite the fucked-up Mafia vs Ninja. I just don't get why Fthr thinks everyone has a 1280x1024 desktop, so zoom in and pan (right-click) the Flash movie on the left if you are stuck on 800x600 and don't see the menu.

Mika Puskala's E3 is on a summer break. Time to re-check the first three issues.

According to an UN report, Finland is the world's leader in technological deployment. Which is nice, because it is an European country. And Norway is considered overall the best country in the world. US of A, the world leading nation? Only in guns, maybe. You make me sick.

However we resist

Assembler.org is now gone. The author announced he's going to stop working on the website. Sad. As the net grows independent websites are getting killed by the thousands...

One of the yellow ones

Last week my father bought a new mobile phone, and gave me his older phone, a Siemens M35i (one of those yellow ones), so that I could finally get rid of my Ericsson 'the brick' 688. The Siemens has a few games, including the horrible, imoral, shameless and fun Minesweeper ("with Microsoft's compliments", it says). However, it's a game called Reversi that I have become addicted to. In a nutshell, it's a version of the Othello table-top strategy game, and it has slowly started to become a time-sink, as I play it even while at home with work to do. 'Reversi Anonymous', anyone?

Trilinear filtering

Doesn't Vangelis' NASA Mission to Mars theme song sound awfully like Star Wars — The Phantom Menace's?

It seems that East Timor will get 90% of oil sales after a new treaty with Australia. I can see Petrogal rushing to Timor at any moment now, starting another era of 'friendlier' Portuguese colonization. Can't we ever leave those people alone? *sigh*

Hurrah, got the perfect PSX emulator: FPSE will make old Playstation actually look better, and it's much more configurable than that VGS crap I was using. The result: a few hours playing International Superstar Soccer.